We often mistaken humans for divine creatures, we think they are flawless; no flaw is inserted in their codes. We can’t accept the fact that these beings are just as human as any of us. We usually tend to idealize celebrities, public figures, family members and loved ones. We often meet any humane act from the people we idealize with complete skepticism and disgrace, “how could they do something as humane as that?” we may wonder to ourselves, but do we wonder as often what is so bad about being simply a human?
Celebrities and public figures are usually criticized and shamed for doing anything we might see as unusual or committing the minimal mistakes; for example: some actresses here might be criticized for getting certain haircuts or tattoos; or dating and getting married to someone. We can easily spot all the celebrities who got shamed for really weird things, like Sheeren Abd AlWahab for getting married or Horrya Farghly for going under cosmetic surgeries after being a victim of a horrific horse accident.
Not only do we practice idealization on celebrities and public figures, but also on the people we love the most or the people we just met and believed we instantly clicked with body and soul; what we aren’t fully aware of is that idealization only happens inside our heads, you can’t reflect or force it on people.
We get too much indulged in our own thoughts and emotions, however, we can notice it when we idealize someone so much; and there are few things you can remind yourself of when you practice idealization to snap yourself back to reality:
We are all humans after all:
No one is born divine, no one is meant to behave and react in a perfect way. What’s more, your idea of perfection is different from anybody else; the idea of right or wrong is subjective. People have the right to make the choices that make them happy, they make choices regarding their looks, beliefs and lifestyle according to their own preferences not your definition of perfection and certainly not to satisfy your idealization. Live and let live, and let humans do whatever they want with their lives unless they hurt others.
Everyone makes mistake:
Even you! You yourself make mistakes, you even sometimes cause people pain intentionally or unintentionally. We are humans, that’s what we do, we make mistakes; no one lives their entire lives mistakes-free; how do you expect people you idealize to not make any mistake? It doesn’t really make sense, does it?
They aren’t what you think they are:
Idealizing makes you build that picture-perfect idea of that person, and that picture perfect is definitely untrue. While you are keeping yourself busy idealizing and building a fictional idea of person, you are missing getting to know them in real life, you aren’t giving them or yourself the chance to be simply humans.
Idealizing leads to disappointment and sometimes heartbreak. When we idealize so much, we expect so much as well; and when our high expectations aren’t met, we tend to feel desperate, and sometimes our feelings go as extreme as betrayal.
If you find yourself idealizing people, start noticing your pattern and always remind yourself: no human is divine.