You’re clutching on to your mobile phone amidst a hurricane of mixed emotions of loneliness, agony, pain, missing, or even horny, and only one thought is controlling you: I want to text him! Him?! Your ex!
Ok, to be honest we’ve all been there. I guess this kind of urge is common especially shortly after a break up, but also it can happen after several months even years of no contact. But, is it wise to do so? Obviously not and there are zillion reasons why it’s a stupid idea. If you’re hesitant and can’t keep your fingers off the phone, these tips will help you win the fight.
Don’t lose it for nostalgia
You came across an old picture of you together, heard a song, or visited the place you used to go to together. All are legitimate reasons to make you miss your ex, but it’s not likely that he feels the same at the same moment. So don’t give in to the post-breakup messing with your mind. You may have pure intentions to just say hello, yet you don’t want to sound like “Oh, please take me back”. It will only make you less desirable. So, don’t text your ex.
Don’t give him a victory moment
Let’s put it straightforward, you feel lonely and the first thing that pops out is texting your ex. It becomes very tempting to try to reach out to the person who used to fulfill you emotionally and physically. Texting your ex in this situation, he will think immediately “She wants me.” Do you really want to give that guy a feeling of victory? He doesn’t deserve that moment of satisfaction after what he did to you (remind yourself of all the shitty things he did). So, don’t text your ex.
It would have worked for you the first time
There’s a reason you and your ex are no longer together. You are not good for each other. Okay you may think you can work it out again focusing on the good thing you shared. But, the reasons you split will always be there, therefore it’s most likely you will relive it one more time. Save yourself the inevitable moment of ending up at the same point. So, don’t text your ex.
Enjoy that moment when you’re over him
It is okay to feel lost and anguished after a break up. Yes it can be hard to meet new people, but it’s not impossible. Forget about your ex and think about all the opportunities waiting for you out there. So, put down your mobile phone and embrace life. Imagine how satisfying to be truly over your ex, and being ready for your next adventure. So, don’t text your ex.
Why torture yourself twice?
The thought of a “we need a closure” practically means you need to talk to your ex one last time to confirm that you’re finished. In other words, double the torture by being broken up with twice. Hurting one time is enough, so distract the thought by keeping busy with friends, gym, or charity. And don’t text your ex.
Keep the Mystery
When you lose contact with your ex after breaking up, he wouldn’t know what you’re doing with your life. He’ll probably think you’re over it and wonder whom you’re dating now. Keeping this mysterious aura makes you more desirable. If you text him, you will immediately kill this impression. Instead of being jealous how you managed after the break up, he will lose interest at once, and you become the girl he wasn’t all that into. So, don’t do it. Don’t text your ex.
Is this the best you can do?
He did you wrong and didn’t give you what you deserve breaking up with you in the first place. Your heart is so precious, don’t degrade it. When you go back texting him you’re implying that you can’t get any better. Honestly, there are so many incredible guys out there, give yourself a chance to discover them. Believe me when you start doing so, you‘ll be deleting every massage, even every memory you had with that ex. Put the phone down and don’t text your ex.
Help yourself to start again. Don’t get stuck in a former relation. Talking to a friend about your urges is always helpful, just put down the phone, and don’t text your ex.
5 Unique Ways To Maintain Long-Distance Relationships
Many people get excited to leave their hometowns and start a new chapter of their lives, but it’s hard to let go of people who shaped your city into a home — that’s right, the start of long distance friendships. Sadly, it is especially hard to maintain your friends back home during college: You’re busy maintaining rigorous classes, working a part-time job, or just figuring your life out in a whole new location. Luckily, here are some fun, convenient options to maintain long distance friendships!
- Snapchat vlogs.
Snapchat is easy to maintain multiple conversations going with sending one video. With a quick Snapchat video with the location attached, you can tell a story about the area or invite to hang out.
- Meme tagging.
Simple meme tagging on Instagram or Facebook can translate to “thinking of you” or “what do you think about this?” to your friend. It can also spark new jokes or reminiscent old memories with these tags.
Sending letters may seem old school but it can be an entertaining, endearing form of friendship appreciation. You can even make a simple letter more exciting by placing a small polaroid.
- Use playlists.
If you want to maintain an unspoken conversation, just maintain a personal playlist on a certain platform with your friend. You can add throwback childhood songs.
- Video chat.
Though it may be more time consuming than other ways to communicate, Facetime or skype call once a month can makeup weeks of no talking. It’s nice to feel transported into a normal conversation through a video phone call.
Tips On Having a Healthy Relationship
Romantic relationships, in all of their complexity, are a fundamental component of our lives. And as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke mused, “there is scarcely anything more difficult than to love one another.” Here are some tips to help maintain a healthy relationships.
- See the best in your partner and in your relationship. Research on perception and attention shows that we see more of what we look for, so if you’re looking for signs of kindness, that’s more likely to stand out to you.
- Have fun. Couples who engage in exciting and enjoyable activities together have greater relationship satisfaction.
- Have good sex. Increasing research is pointing to a great sex life as predicting better relationship satisfaction.
- Have a good relationship with yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is arguably the foundation on which your other relationships are built, and studies are supporting this notion.
5 Things Can Make Your Relationship Fail
There exists an abundance of tips one can give with regards to relationships. Below are several ones that are strikingly significant and hugely impactful.
- Don’t assume. It is very natural to make assumptions about a lot of things in life. But this becomes deadly within the context of a relationship if approached in the wrong way. So instead of making an assumption and acting accordingly, approach the other person and articulate your assumption. An assumption is only validated through a test, and tool for that in a relationship is communication.
- Don’t lie. This should come off as being very obvious. Yet it cannot be stressed enough. The other person naturally develops a standard of moral level. Lying leads to a significant reduction in those levels.
- Don’t build walls. The use of walls here is a figure of speech. Naturally, in any relationship the aim is to connect at various levels. Any action–or in the less obvious sense, inaction–that is not appropriate leads to building walls between you and the other. These walls are not easily broken.
- Don’t be logical. Not everything can be understood. You would be surprised at the amount of things that you may never understand about the other’s way of thinking, or choice of action. Therefore, there are things that you should not attempt to understand; you should rather develop the capacity to accept, with good grace, that it does not have to make sense to you.
- Don’t over-do it. If you want to be good, be very good. If you want to be generous, be very generous. If you want to be patient, be very patient. Over-doing any of these, among other things, leads to the development of misunderstanding. The boundaries of the relationship would get reshaped and the nature of the relationship then is bound to change.