Trust is a thing that’s hard to earn yet easy to break. It’s fragile. It’s a leap of faith. It’s a terrifying thing to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open up to someone else. For one thing, what if they don’t like what they see when you tear down all those walls you put up and show them your raw personality? That, I would say, is one of the most terrifying things when it comes to love.
Most of us have at least gone through disappointment or betrayal in love at some point in our lives. And we’ve all experienced how heartbreaking it is to trust again whoever wronged us. In itself, trust is not an easy task, but if you also suffer from pistanthrophobia, it can be almost impossible.
Pistanthrophobia is characterized by an irrational fear of building an intimate and personal relationship with others. Past hurtful stories or harmful experiences carry so much weight that fear overcomes the desire to trust others.
It’s like you’re carrying the weight of the person on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.
People with this condition begin to feel as if everyone sooner or later will disappoint or betray them. They become extremely distrustful and terrified. They’re afraid of the idea that past harms may be repeated and they don’t want to let that happen.
“I’ll never be happy, again.” “Why do people keep hurting me? What have I ever done to deserve this?” “It’s all my fault.” These are some of the billions of sentences you’ll hear from those who are afraid giving their precious trust to anybody.
Trust is exactly like a paper. When you crumble it, it doesn’t go back completely straightened afterwards, it leaves lines — that we call scars in life.
Trust is not free and it’s something you either have or don’t have: there’s no in-between. It grows out of months and years of shared relationships and experiences. We know it takes a long time to earn trust, but very little to lose it. However, they also say that the last thing we lose is hope and that time heals all wounds.
Their self-suggestions lead them to become antisocial and isolationist. Some of these behaviors are:
•Avoiding activities that involve close interpersonal contact.
•Becoming withdrawn because they fear criticism. There’s an exaggerated fear of being judged, rejected, or betrayed.
•Not attending events or meetings in which they have to meet with strangers they don’t know if they will like.
•Not taking any risks that could endanger their emotions. They are very reluctant to engage with other people. They feel dread when it comes to opening up to others.
•Trying to avoid intimate relationships due to their fear of being disappointed again. They don’t want to find a relationship again because of their panic that their trust will be misplaced again.
Normally, difficulty in trusting others starts with a distrust in oneself. This distrust directly affects the intuition or sixth sense that dictates whether a person is trustworthy or not.
building relationships becomes a very difficult task. It’s like trying to climb a very high mountain when we have vertigo. The fear of falling increases with each step we take, until we feel we’re no longer even moving forward.
That’s why many people with pistanthrophobia cut off relationships abruptly. They can no longer continue climbing, deepening the relationship.
Pistanthrophobia is actually a serious phobia affecting your relationships with others.
To cut things short, pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting someone. If you just had a flashback to all your failed relationships, I’m sorry, but it had to be done. We’ll get through this together. Messy breakups either with friends or partners, don’t just leave us with a nauseated feeling in our stomachs every time we hear our ex friend/partner’s name, but they also leave us traumatized, paranoid of getting hurt by others and fearing our next relationship/friendship.
You may think you’re completely over your ex partner/best friend. If you’re sitting in a corner, shaking yourself to bed, I’m afraid to say that you may want to think otherwise.
Trust won’t come back overnight, neither in oneself nor in others. Therefore, to overcome pistanthrophobia, it’s important to get help. Psychologists can help us recover from our emotional wounds. By attacking the cause, we will likely solve the problem.
So, how do you know if you have pistanthrophobia? And if you do have it, how do you overcome this fear? Well, fear not, The What’s Up Cairo Team are here to help. Here’s all you need to know to get you living pistanthrophobia-free.
- You stalk them so much on social media that you become their biggest secret fan: It’s definitely not because you’re in every picture they’ve posted. You constantly want to know what their doing, who they’re with and who’s commenting. Of course, if a hot girl/guy is commenting on your boy/girlfriend’s photo, you get a little curious, maybe even jealous. But your need to constantly know what they’re doing both in real and virtual life is a clear sign you don’t trust your partner. You have to understand that you are not in control of their actions and have to be able to trust that they will make the right choices. If you lack the trust in your partner, they wouldn’t feel comfortable at all.
- You want to snoop around on their phone: Have you figured out what’s the password on their phone yet? Okay, well, we all have some curiosity to creep on someone we like when they’re texting or checking Facebook, Instagram or any other social media app. However, going through their phone is completely different. Let’s get this one out of the way, shall we? Do they actually acknowledge the fact that you’re sniffing around in their phone? If not, then this is a pretty clear sign you have some major trust issues. Sure, if they’re not doing anything wrong, they wouldn’t have a reason to not let you look through their phone. However, there’s something called privacy, and everyone is entitled to it. So before anxiously typing in their password and scanning their texts, think twice.
- Learning a good grieving process is vital if we want to trust again. For this, we need to accept the pain we feel and not run from our feelings. Neither should we minimize the problem or look the other way.
- It takes time and rest. Your emotions have to stabilize, so it’s not a good idea to start a new relationship. You’re probably not ready to trust anyone again without past traumas reappearing.
- You always think of the worst case scenario: Are you already assuming that they’re cheating on you and you don’t quite know each other that well? They had to stay late at work and you assume they’re having an affair? Calm the hell down. Unless the signs are clear that they’re doing something unfaithful, you cannot jump to conclusions and assume the worst thing possible. When you enter a relationship with a negative mindset, that’s a clear indicator you have trust issues.
- Practice everyday situations that require trust. For example, delegate some things to your partner so your trust gradually increases. Do joint activities to naturalize the disorder. Trusting another person, besides being a real challenge, is also a vital necessity. The trust we have in those close to us has multiple benefits. Among them, it increases our happiness and self-confidence, allowing us to face our problems better and with less stress. It’s definitely worth the effort.
- You ask them too many questions and put them through tests: I’d actually blame fairytales for this one; we’re shown we constantly have to test our partner to make sure that they really care about us. They have to chase after us in the pouring rain or make them choose their friends over us. You know what will happen, right?Eventually, they’ll reach their limits of being tested. Listen, when you go into a relationship, you have to trust that they like you. And then after that, you let it take its course.
How to get over Pistanthrophobia, you ask? Here is how can you help yourself in overcoming your fear of trusting someone.
- Tell them: If you have Pistanthrophobia, then your partner has to know. The number one thing that keeps any relationship strong is communication and you have to talk to them about that. They’ll definitely reassure you that everything is fine. If this person really does care about you, then they’ll be patient and accepting. You guys are a team after all.
- Change your mindset: This is a hard one to do, but it’ll be worth it. What happens, happens. You have to let things take their course. If someone is going to cheat on you, they’re going to cheat on you. You cannot control other people’s actions. You can control yours. What is meant to be, it’ll be and you have nothing to do about it.
- Block/remove your partner from social media: It’ll take your mind of them a bit and by time, you’ll get used to it, you’ll feel less clingy. So, if you’re finding it hard to not creep their profiles every day—delete them. I know it’s pretty hard. You feel you’re not included in their lives; however, this is simply your insecurities and need for control. Delete them off of everything or unfollow them. It’ll take a couple days, but you’ll see how much better you’ll feel without obsessing over them—virtually and knowing every little tiny detail about them. Give yourself and them a break.
- Seek Therapy: If you suffer from pistanthrophobia, consider seeking a counselor. I know most people decide against heading to a therapy; they think they’re weak and cannot handle their own problems. However, that’s not the issue. It’s always easier getting an opinion from a third party who knows nothing about you. Plus, you get to talk to someone who’s unbiased and nonjudgemental. They’ll be able to root the problem and give you different solutions every single time you need a different solution. They’re always there when you need them and they’ll help you overcome it. I mean, even therapists go to therapists and you should never worry about what others think of you. You should do what’s best for you.
Don’t waste your precious time glued to your phone, creeping on your partner on every single social media account they have. Life is to be lived! Though pistanthrophobia adds a lot of pressure and strain on a relationship, you can overcome it. And you will!
New Platform Launched to Connect Volunteers With Work Opportunities
A new volunteer work portal has been launched yesterday by the Minister of Human Resources and Social Development Ahmed Al-Rajhi, the portal that links between volunteers and providers of volunteer jobs is expected to contribute greatly to the 2030 vision.
The portal aims at providing a platform that will bring together willing volunteers in different fields and provide them with several opportunities, in an attempt to properly organize volunteer work.
Minister Al-Rajhi said that the portal will help support the Kingdom’s efforts towards achieving the goals of the 2030 Vision, through accomplishing sustainable development in all fields.
“The platform will also contribute to meeting the Kingdom’s requirements in the current phase that requires everyone to work together wholeheartedly to serve the country and the society,” the minister said.
This volunteer work portal will be linked to the National Information Center, whereas hours of volunteer work, number of times volunteer work carried out, and the agencies involved in volunteer work will all be documented in the Absher portal of the Ministry of Interior.
The platform also comes in a time where it’s necessary for all of us to join our forces and face the threat of the pandemic, it comes just in time to confront the threat of coronavirus and work together towards putting an end to it.
In light of this, the ministry hopes that the platform will help serve those affected by the pandemic and the damage caused by the virus, by encouraging the capabilities and energies of volunteers in the Kingdom.
Coronavirus: Some Good News For Some tranquility
Amidst this coronavirus scare, we know that horrifying news are constantly coming your way so today we just want you to take a breath, lay back and relax for the government is doing the best it can to contain the outbreak.
Several crucial steps have been taken by the Saudi government, to ensure the flattening of the curve and to drastically reduce and eventually eliminate the spread of the virus.
Below are some of these steps that we hope can help you find some peace of mind!
Imposing A national Curfew
The national curfew will not only help limit the spread and ensure the safety of many but it will also help foster a sense of unity across Saudi Arabia.
The curfew was a much needed measure to be taken and we have faith that with all of us staying at home, with restaurants and cafes closed, this will soon come to an end.
The $32 Billion Grant To Offset The Impact Of Coronavirus On Economy
The government on Friday revealed stimulus measures amounting to 120 Saudi billion riyals ($32 billion) in an attempt to support an economy hit by the double blow of the coronavirus crisis and dramatically lower oil prices.
The Saudi National Disease Center Kicked Off COVID-19 Study
بدأنا في مختبرات المركز الوطني للوقاية من الأمراض ومكافحتها( #وقاية ) بدراسة التسلسل الوراثي لفيروس كورونا الجديد باستخدام تقنية "next generation sequencing” والتي تساعد في معرفة أين اصيبت الحالات المكتشفة بفيروس كورونا الجديد من خلال معرفة مكان نشأته وتتبع انتشاره داخل المملكة pic.twitter.com/Zh09XMUWoL
— المركز الوطني للـ وقـ ـايـ ـة من الأمراض ومكافحتها (@SaudiCDC) March 17, 2020
Just last week, the Saudi National Center for Disease Control and Prevention (Weqaya) has announced the kick off of a study into the coronavirus using the “next generation” of genetic sequencing techniques.
The work carried out in its laboratories will help locate cases of COVID-19 infection and track the spread of the disease.
Drastic decline in coronavirus cases in Qatif
After the city was under lock down, the number of cases has fallen drastically and up until Sunday, there only four new cases reported.
Saudi Red Crescent Launches Coronavirus Online Awareness Initiative
The Saudi Red Crescent Authority (SRCA) launched a distance learning awareness initiative about coronavirus control and prevention.
It included 2,800 SRCA members, more than 3,000 volunteers, 220 students, and 1,100 trainees from the education and health ministries and other sectors.
The Kingdom Ranked 2nd in The Arab World in World Happiness Report
The Kingdom has been ranked the 2nd in the Arab World and the 27th globally in the World Happiness Report 2020 that includes 156 counties.
The World Happiness Report is issued annually by the UN and it measures the entertainment, happiness and quality of life indices. With all the Kingdom’s efforts in providing citizens with a better quality of life, it made perfect sense for Saudi Arabia to be ranked the second.
The report also evaluated 186 cities from around the world in terms of happiness and entertainment, Madinah made it to the 46th place, while Jeddah was ranked the 59th, Riyadh 62nd and Makkah 65th.
In light of this achievement, the report also expects that Riyadh, Jeddah and Madinah will be listed among the Best Twenty Cities in the World.
Mazrou’ Bin Salah Al-Mazrou’, the Spokesman of the Quality of Life Program highlighted that achieving such a ranking is a true indication of the efforts being exerted in an attempt to maintain social welfare.
“Advancing one place means a lot, as the world is also progressing. We are not alone in the race. The Kingdom has superseded important countries at the global level, like Spain, Italy and South Korea.”
“We’ll exert more efforts to make the Kingdom the pioneering country in terms of quality of life worldwide. This is part of a big movement coming under the Kingdom’s Vision 2030 and other projects launched by the Saudi leadership recently.” He added.
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