Trust is a thing that’s hard to earn yet easy to break. It’s fragile. It’s a leap of faith. It’s a terrifying thing to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open up to someone else. For one thing, what if they don’t like what they see when you tear down all those walls you put up and show them your raw personality? That, I would say, is one of the most terrifying things when it comes to love.
Most of us have at least gone through disappointment or betrayal in love at some point in our lives. And we’ve all experienced how heartbreaking it is to trust again whoever wronged us. In itself, trust is not an easy task, but if you also suffer from pistanthrophobia, it can be almost impossible.
Pistanthrophobia is characterized by an irrational fear of building an intimate and personal relationship with others. Past hurtful stories or harmful experiences carry so much weight that fear overcomes the desire to trust others.
It’s like you’re carrying the weight of the person on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.
People with this condition begin to feel as if everyone sooner or later will disappoint or betray them. They become extremely distrustful and terrified. They’re afraid of the idea that past harms may be repeated and they don’t want to let that happen.
“I’ll never be happy, again.” “Why do people keep hurting me? What have I ever done to deserve this?” “It’s all my fault.” These are some of the billions of sentences you’ll hear from those who are afraid giving their precious trust to anybody.
Trust is exactly like a paper. When you crumble it, it doesn’t go back completely straightened afterwards, it leaves lines — that we call scars in life.
Trust is not free and it’s something you either have or don’t have: there’s no in-between. It grows out of months and years of shared relationships and experiences. We know it takes a long time to earn trust, but very little to lose it. However, they also say that the last thing we lose is hope and that time heals all wounds.
Their self-suggestions lead them to become antisocial and isolationist. Some of these behaviors are:
•Avoiding activities that involve close interpersonal contact.
•Becoming withdrawn because they fear criticism. There’s an exaggerated fear of being judged, rejected, or betrayed.
•Not attending events or meetings in which they have to meet with strangers they don’t know if they will like.
•Not taking any risks that could endanger their emotions. They are very reluctant to engage with other people. They feel dread when it comes to opening up to others.
•Trying to avoid intimate relationships due to their fear of being disappointed again. They don’t want to find a relationship again because of their panic that their trust will be misplaced again.
Normally, difficulty in trusting others starts with a distrust in oneself. This distrust directly affects the intuition or sixth sense that dictates whether a person is trustworthy or not.
building relationships becomes a very difficult task. It’s like trying to climb a very high mountain when we have vertigo. The fear of falling increases with each step we take, until we feel we’re no longer even moving forward.
That’s why many people with pistanthrophobia cut off relationships abruptly. They can no longer continue climbing, deepening the relationship.
Pistanthrophobia is actually a serious phobia affecting your relationships with others.
To cut things short, pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting someone. If you just had a flashback to all your failed relationships, I’m sorry, but it had to be done. We’ll get through this together. Messy breakups either with friends or partners, don’t just leave us with a nauseated feeling in our stomachs every time we hear our ex friend/partner’s name, but they also leave us traumatized, paranoid of getting hurt by others and fearing our next relationship/friendship.
You may think you’re completely over your ex partner/best friend. If you’re sitting in a corner, shaking yourself to bed, I’m afraid to say that you may want to think otherwise.
Trust won’t come back overnight, neither in oneself nor in others. Therefore, to overcome pistanthrophobia, it’s important to get help. Psychologists can help us recover from our emotional wounds. By attacking the cause, we will likely solve the problem.
So, how do you know if you have pistanthrophobia? And if you do have it, how do you overcome this fear? Well, fear not, The What’s Up Cairo Team are here to help. Here’s all you need to know to get you living pistanthrophobia-free.
- You stalk them so much on social media that you become their biggest secret fan: It’s definitely not because you’re in every picture they’ve posted. You constantly want to know what their doing, who they’re with and who’s commenting. Of course, if a hot girl/guy is commenting on your boy/girlfriend’s photo, you get a little curious, maybe even jealous. But your need to constantly know what they’re doing both in real and virtual life is a clear sign you don’t trust your partner. You have to understand that you are not in control of their actions and have to be able to trust that they will make the right choices. If you lack the trust in your partner, they wouldn’t feel comfortable at all.
- You want to snoop around on their phone: Have you figured out what’s the password on their phone yet? Okay, well, we all have some curiosity to creep on someone we like when they’re texting or checking Facebook, Instagram or any other social media app. However, going through their phone is completely different. Let’s get this one out of the way, shall we? Do they actually acknowledge the fact that you’re sniffing around in their phone? If not, then this is a pretty clear sign you have some major trust issues. Sure, if they’re not doing anything wrong, they wouldn’t have a reason to not let you look through their phone. However, there’s something called privacy, and everyone is entitled to it. So before anxiously typing in their password and scanning their texts, think twice.
- Learning a good grieving process is vital if we want to trust again. For this, we need to accept the pain we feel and not run from our feelings. Neither should we minimize the problem or look the other way.
- It takes time and rest. Your emotions have to stabilize, so it’s not a good idea to start a new relationship. You’re probably not ready to trust anyone again without past traumas reappearing.
- You always think of the worst case scenario: Are you already assuming that they’re cheating on you and you don’t quite know each other that well? They had to stay late at work and you assume they’re having an affair? Calm the hell down. Unless the signs are clear that they’re doing something unfaithful, you cannot jump to conclusions and assume the worst thing possible. When you enter a relationship with a negative mindset, that’s a clear indicator you have trust issues.
- Practice everyday situations that require trust. For example, delegate some things to your partner so your trust gradually increases. Do joint activities to naturalize the disorder. Trusting another person, besides being a real challenge, is also a vital necessity. The trust we have in those close to us has multiple benefits. Among them, it increases our happiness and self-confidence, allowing us to face our problems better and with less stress. It’s definitely worth the effort.
- You ask them too many questions and put them through tests: I’d actually blame fairytales for this one; we’re shown we constantly have to test our partner to make sure that they really care about us. They have to chase after us in the pouring rain or make them choose their friends over us. You know what will happen, right?Eventually, they’ll reach their limits of being tested. Listen, when you go into a relationship, you have to trust that they like you. And then after that, you let it take its course.
How to get over Pistanthrophobia, you ask? Here is how can you help yourself in overcoming your fear of trusting someone.
- Tell them: If you have Pistanthrophobia, then your partner has to know. The number one thing that keeps any relationship strong is communication and you have to talk to them about that. They’ll definitely reassure you that everything is fine. If this person really does care about you, then they’ll be patient and accepting. You guys are a team after all.
- Change your mindset: This is a hard one to do, but it’ll be worth it. What happens, happens. You have to let things take their course. If someone is going to cheat on you, they’re going to cheat on you. You cannot control other people’s actions. You can control yours. What is meant to be, it’ll be and you have nothing to do about it.
- Block/remove your partner from social media: It’ll take your mind of them a bit and by time, you’ll get used to it, you’ll feel less clingy. So, if you’re finding it hard to not creep their profiles every day—delete them. I know it’s pretty hard. You feel you’re not included in their lives; however, this is simply your insecurities and need for control. Delete them off of everything or unfollow them. It’ll take a couple days, but you’ll see how much better you’ll feel without obsessing over them—virtually and knowing every little tiny detail about them. Give yourself and them a break.
- Seek Therapy: If you suffer from pistanthrophobia, consider seeking a counselor. I know most people decide against heading to a therapy; they think they’re weak and cannot handle their own problems. However, that’s not the issue. It’s always easier getting an opinion from a third party who knows nothing about you. Plus, you get to talk to someone who’s unbiased and nonjudgemental. They’ll be able to root the problem and give you different solutions every single time you need a different solution. They’re always there when you need them and they’ll help you overcome it. I mean, even therapists go to therapists and you should never worry about what others think of you. You should do what’s best for you.
Don’t waste your precious time glued to your phone, creeping on your partner on every single social media account they have. Life is to be lived! Though pistanthrophobia adds a lot of pressure and strain on a relationship, you can overcome it. And you will!
Atleir Des’Lumières Paris’s Digital Art Museum
Saudi Rania Nashar Makes it to Forbes’ List of The World’s Top 100 Most Powerful Women”
The Kingdom’s own Rania Nashar has made it to Forbes’ annual list of “The World’s Top 100 Most Powerful Women” and we can’t help but feel so much pride!
Nashar was ranked the 99th in the list that includes prominent names such as Angela Merkel, Kamaala Harris, Melinda Gates, Rihanna, & many other global female trailblazers.
Nashar is the first female to hold the position of CEO CEO of Saudi commercial bank, Samba Financial Group. She also made it to this ranking through her tremendous efforts in implementing changes that empower women of Saudi Arabia, all of which comes as part of the 2030 Vision.
Nashar has exceeded 20 years of experience in the field of commercial banking and has been inspiring young Saudi women to take on the challenge as well and break the glass ceiling and for that, we congratulate her.
This Saudi Landmark Just Won a Prestigious Award for Its Innovative Architectural Design
The King Abdullah Petroleum Studies and Research Center (KAPSARC) has received the American Concrete Institute (ACI) award for concrete construction excellence.
The building, which is designed by Zahra Hadid Architects (ZHA), is one of the most well-known landmarks in Riyadh. It’s known for its unique architectural design.
The structure features an hexagonal honeycomb structure which stands out with hexagonal cell openings providing shade from the harsh sun. “ZHA projects have always been unique and creative in an unprecedented, nontraditional way. There’s no other structure like it in the entire world,” Saudi architect Mokhtar Al Shoaibi told Arab News.
The building is made of extremely complex steel, said Saudi architect Mukhtar Al-Shoaibi.